question

a shoulder to cry on

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it's supposed to be written yesterday but i'm too lazy to do anything when i'm in pain. so can we just pretend that i wrote this on 11/11/2020? deal.

it's a nice date. but not a nice day for me.

i felt..

being replaced by my bestest friend. i know she didn't feel the same.

i mean she may not feel like she's replacing me with someone, but I felt that. so who's the impostor here?haha

but deeply in my heart, i know its not her fault. it just me being romanticized with our friendship back then, i thought that i will be the very first person she looked up too. but it doesn't work like that anymore. and that's how life works sometimes. 

in this case I start to questioning about my existence.

am i a good friend like i wish i had a friend like me?

but the answer is, i'm not. i'm not a good friend, yet a good daughter, good sister, and good girlfriend. but i started to give another question. what does it mean to be a good person? i will answer this if i already know the answer. i promise!

back to that case, what should I do? my favorite writer once said, don't ever think of yourself as pretty so if anyone say you are ugly, you didn’t get hurt.

so for now, i think i have to stop expecting too much from someone. i have to stop thinking that i am very special to someone. i think that's the thing i should do to avoid the pain. for now. if i get a new best answer, i will re-write it. i promise. guess who has made the two promises to keep today?ya me. but i'm not a Loser anymore. i will keep my promise

so let me end this for today. oh talking about the date, there's one thing that matters today, i finally bought Bioderma micellar water!!

thanks 11.11

and also thank me.